Golden Sidekicks

Jun 30, 2017
Originally published on November 10, 2017 10:13 am

In a tribute to Blanche, Dorothy, and Rose, guest musician Julian Velard graces us with the Golden Girls theme song "Thank You For Being a Friend," rewritten to be about famous sidekicks. Our contestants buzz in to answer who he is singing about.

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CECIL BALDWIN: This is NPR's ASK ME ANOTHER. I'm puzzle guru Cecil Baldwin with guest musician Julian Velard. Now here's your host, Ophira Eisenberg.

(APPLAUSE)

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Thank you, Cecil. Before the break, we met our contestants, Rachel and Daniella. Our next game goes out to people who do all of the work and get none of the credit. Let's check in with our contestants.

Rachel, your father, a retired doctor...

RACHEL MARTIN: Yes.

EISENBERG: ...Now in his retirement is relaxing by doing some creative writing.

MARTIN: Yes.

EISENBERG: Have you read any of his work?

MARTIN: Not a word, no.

EISENBERG: No? Why not?

MARTIN: My dad has taken up writing historical erotica.

(LAUGHTER)

JULIAN VELARD: Wow.

MARTIN: Yes.

VELARD: Wow.

BALDWIN: Does he specialize in a certain era?

MARTIN: Yes, the Civil War.

(LAUGHTER)

MARTIN: Yeah.

BALDWIN: The South will rise again.

(LAUGHTER)

BALDWIN: Sorry, I had to.

EISENBERG: I feel like that is the name of one of the volumes.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Daniella, as we found out, you are from Philly.

DANIELLA DILACQUA NOEL: Oh, yes.

EISENBERG: And you are so Philly that your dad is a mummer, and you had mummers at your wedding.

DILACQUA NOEL: We did.

EISENBERG: What is a mummer? And what does having mummers out at your wedding mean?

DILACQUA NOEL: It's sort of like a New Orleans-style second line but with electricians who just learned how to play their instruments on the side. And they came into my wedding in various costumes. There was even someone dressed as a Minion.

(LAUGHTER)

DILACQUA NOEL: And my husband and I had little umbrellas, and we danced for about 20 minutes with the mummers.

EISENBERG: Fascinating. So our next game is about famous sidekicks. You know, like Batman had Robin, and the Green Hornet had Kato. I have bourbon.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: And here to play it is guest musician Julian Velard.

VELARD: We rewrote the "Golden Girls" theme song, "Thank You For Being A Friend," to be about famous TV and movie sidekicks. You just buzz in and guess the sidekick I'm singing about.

EISENBERG: And if you're not familiar with "The Golden Girls," no problem. Just tune in to basic cable any time between the hours of 12:01 a.m. and 11:59 p.m.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Rachel, you won the last game, so win this and you're in the final round. Daniella, you need to win this. If you come in second, you have to move to America's resentful sidekick, Canada.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Here we go.

VELARD: (Singing) You are my undersea friend, traveled down Conch Street and back again. You're pink and dumb. You're my pal, my echinoderm.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Daniella.

DILACQUA NOEL: That is Patrick the starfish. He is the sidekick to SpongeBob SquarePants.

EISENBERG: OK, yeah, you gave us way more.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Well done.

VELARD: (Singing) As an ogre I say I hope you'll try to shut up today. Fiona's safe. Now you're a dragon's paramour.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Daniella.

DILACQUA NOEL: I believe you're talking about Shrek, but I don't see him as the sidekick. His sidekick is Donkey.

EISENBERG: OK, so what would you like to make your answer?

(LAUGHTER)

DILACQUA NOEL: I guess I have to go with the sidekick - right? - which was Donkey.

EISENBERG: Yeah. That is correct. Yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

VELARD: (Singing) And when you play some music, Tom Jones at maximum volume, your bad dance moves in our Bel-Air living room make me think, cousin, how can I be related to you?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Daniella.

DILACQUA NOEL: That would be Carlton, the sidekick to Will Smith in "The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air."

EISENBERG: I just like leaving pauses so you'll keep adding more information. That is correct.

DILACQUA NOEL: I'm nothing if not thorough.

(APPLAUSE)

VELARD: (Singing) Gracias por ser un amigo. Traveled on my back across the land, you hold my stuff, you can talk and you're bottomless.

EISENBERG: Puzzle guru Cecil Baldwin, do you want to give our contestants...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: ...Oh, a hint? Don't need to. Daniella.

DILACQUA NOEL: Just - I'm processing.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

DILACQUA NOEL: That would be Backpack, Dora's sidekick.

EISENBERG: Yeah. You're right.

(APPLAUSE)

VELARD: I'm glad she got it because I had nothing.

(LAUGHTER)

DILACQUA NOEL: For the record, I don't watch Dora, but I do carry a backpack every day and I've been nicknamed Dora.

EISENBERG: Oh, by your students?

DILACQUA NOEL: And teachers.

EISENBERG: And other teachers.

VELARD: (Singing) And if I had a talk show late at night on network TBS, you would be performing funny bits with me, interviewing our guests, too. Thank you for being my foil.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Daniella.

DILACQUA NOEL: OK, so TBS talk show, I'm thinking Conan. And his partner in crime is - I hope it's still Andy Richter.

EISENBERG: Sure is. That is correct. Yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: All right, puzzle guru Cecil Baldwin, how did our contestants do?

BALDWIN: All right, Daniella, you won that one, so we're going to go to a quick game three. I'll give you a category, and you'll go back and forth naming things that fall into that category. The first contestant to mess up will be eliminated. Buzz in to answer first. Here's your category. Name the 12 signs of the zodiac as you'd find them in a horoscope column.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BALDWIN: Daniella.

DILACQUA NOEL: Scorpio.

BALDWIN: Yes. Rachel.

MARTIN: Capricorn?

BALDWIN: Yes. Daniella.

DILACQUA NOEL: Aquarius.

BALDWIN: Yes. Rachel.

MARTIN: Leo?

BALDWIN: Yep. Daniella.

DILACQUA NOEL: Sagittarius.

BALDWIN: Uh-huh. Rachel.

MARTIN: Aries?

BALDWIN: Yeah. Daniella.

DILACQUA NOEL: Taurus.

BALDWIN: Yeah. Rachel.

MARTIN: Gemini.

BALDWIN: Yeah. Daniella.

DILACQUA NOEL: Virgo.

BALDWIN: Mhmm. Rachel.

MARTIN: I don't know if we said this one. Libra?

BALDWIN: Not yet. Daniella, there's two answers left.

DILACQUA NOEL: Aries.

BALDWIN: Oh, I'm so sorry. The other answers were Cancer and Pisces. So, Daniella, we're so sorry to see you go. Rachel, you're headed on to the final round.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.